Camelot in the Reign of Arthur: Episode 1

Bad for the Soul

Introducing Sabine as Patience Goodfellow, our heroes join together once again this time in the Court of Camelot. They arrive and are presented with the problem of the bloody murder of one Sir Bors the elder. Will they be able to find the perpetrator.

The Game

This Game was played using the Mavericks system. An RPG utilizing a deck of cards to tell the story and put fate in the hands of the players. It’s a story-forward roleplaying experience that encourages the players and dealer to work together to create the story. Check out the System Reference Document on Itch.io

https://the-indecisionist.itch.io/mavericks

The Cast

Sabine Bickford is @alfalphacentauri on Bluesky.

Sara Moore is @pixiesandpins on all social media channels and at Pixies and Pins.com. You can also check out her Sarah’s Table livestreams on twitch @pixiesandpins.  

Omar Burgos is @Taleweaver Check out his work on the Tale of D20s TTRPG channel. More information at https://ataleofd20s.com/

Ben Banks is @Dj_blindian on Instagram and Soundcloud

I’m Ansel Burch and you can find me @TheIndecisionist on all of the meta properties and on Bluesky.

———

Special thanks to Cameron Evesque Davis for the song you’re hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast. Find her work on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/cameronevesquedavis

This show is an Indecisionist Production. Go to Indecisionist.com to find more of my work including my monthly gaming event, TTRPG Pickup Con, and my other time travel podcast, Time 2 Party. 

As you travel at one second per second, take some time out for these intrepid adventurers. They may be in trouble, but only for the time being.

Transcript

Ansel Burch 0:06

You welcome adventurers from across time and space. Five creators have been brought together from across the internet for one purpose and one purpose alone, to travel through time and have a good time doing it. When big changes happen to the timeline, the change attracts other time travelers like gravity, they won't be able to move past it until they fix whatever was messed up. So our heroes are stuck together, but only for the time being. You

Ansel Burch 1:03

we will open on the fields of Camelot. Miles and miles of grain stretch off into the distance, into the rolling hills and mountains of what's definitely not whales, but probably could be whales, if you squint as we sweep the camera over the nodding heads of grain, over in the corner of the frame, we begin to see a small but stately Castle growing in the frame, and as it becomes the center of our of our focus, we zoom In just a little bit forward and forward towards the castle, crashing through the wall, through an open arrow slit into the great hall of this mighty edifice, through inches and inches of stone battlement into a single, isolated tower room. We can hear through the wall the sounds of two people having a loud conversation, and as their conversation becomes a little bit more amorous in tone, there is a sort of odd noise and a wobbling of the light in this isolated room and into the shadowed, into the shadowed space. Mason Rockwell appears. That's me

Ben Banks 2:36

peek through. I look at my hands, and I'm like, I'm still in color. It's, it's still happening. I can what's going on.

Ansel Burch 2:48

So describe Mason for us. What are you wearing now that, now that things have changed for you?

Ben Banks 2:55

I feel like he's wearing just like a gray suit, tie like loosened up a little bit. He is wearing a silver watch, and I don't know he's just, he just looks he has a buzz cut, lot of scars, lot of cuts. He's been through a lot, but I think he has, like, on the wrist that doesn't have his watch. He's got like, a little bracelet that's, like, multi colored, because he actually can see color. No, he's not in black and white. So he thought he'd let loose and wear something, just a little bit of a little spice enough, a little bit, not too much. Doesn't want to change things too much. But

Ansel Burch 3:38

does Mason wear an obvious weapon.

Ben Banks 3:43

Um, I think if you look, he's got like, one of those, like, uh, holsters that's like, on his chest that you can grab. So I think if you look at his jacket, you can see it's like a little ball, like a bump. But I don't think if you're, if you're not looking for it,

Ansel Burch 3:58

you can't see it. Okay, okay. Okay, so Mason Rockwell, you find yourself in a stone room. Through the wall, you can hear the sounds of two people who are definitely not aware that you are at present, there is a door that leads off in that direction, as well as a door way in the floor that leads to some spiral staircase that goes down.

Ben Banks 4:24

All right, I think he slowly, like, creeps up to the door, and then he just kicks through it, because he's not a spy anymore. He's not he's not sneaking around anymore. So he like, kicks through the door and then like, checks the perimeter, and then he's like, all right, where's the cat and the Alien and the film crew? Where's the team at?

Ansel Burch 4:54

So you kick in the door and do you shout that at the room? Yeah,

Speaker 1 4:58

I'm. Letting myself known that I am here.

Ansel Burch 5:02

Across the room is a man in full armor. He's not got the helmet on the helmet is like off to the side, but otherwise he is wearing full plate armor with a tavern and the whole thing. And he sort of stands up quickly and away from a woman in very, very fancy dress. She's got her her hair done all up, and there's, she's got one of those, like, tall peaked Princess hats, gold, gold cloth. I think even for Mason, who probably doesn't have like, a huge awareness of historical dress, this person reads like, royalty. What exactly do you think you're doing bursting in here? Don't you know the code of chivalry?

Speaker 1 5:47

The only code I go by is shoot first, ask questions later. But I don't think I'll be shooting, because I don't know if I can get past your armor. But there's a lot of I don't know what's the disturbance like? Is there something going on? Time wise, that's is there? Did you see a cat and an alien and a film crew?

Ansel Burch 6:07

Any other Sure? I don't know what you're talking about. In fact, I don't know what you're talking about. I am Lancelot to luck. Who exactly are

Ben Banks 6:17

you? Special Agent, Mason Rockwell, detective. I'm here to solve the mystery of your time. I think, I think that's what we do. Do we?

Ansel Burch 6:27

Oh, you're, you're here about boars, then boars, so bores recently murdered. So bores.

Ben Banks 6:42

Oh, okay, some

Ansel Burch 6:44

nave has split him, nave to chops.

Speaker 1 6:49

Okay, I in my job description. I do handle murder, so yeah, that that might be something. Is that? Was that supposed to happen? Was that out of the ordinary?

Ansel Burch 7:00

I should think not.

Ansel Burch 7:03

Sir Bors was one of the greatest of us. His son, bores, the younger will have to take over in his place.

Ben Banks 7:12

Sir Boris and his son, Boris the younger, is that naming convention that was

Ansel Burch 7:17

the best. We've only come up with so many names.

Ben Banks 7:21

Gotcha. I gotcha. Okay, yeah, it sounds like a good place to start, but I usually have a team with me, so I don't know if you've seen any other visitors or guests. We

Ansel Burch 7:35

were expecting a delegation from Mercia. I I assumed that there would be fanfare and people downstairs and and he's, like, edging in between you and the woman trying to, like, block her from your like, just try look over here. Nothing to see. Were you not announced at the castle gates. Did? Did someone send you up here?

Ben Banks 8:04

No, I came through kind of like a portal. I don't know if you, if you know what that is, but I just kind of appeared here, and I heard, I heard whispering and talking. And so I thought, okay, hey, this is where I'm supposed to be, and you're supposed to have information for me. So this murder,

Ansel Burch 8:27

well, then I follow me. Then, well, you actually, you go out ahead of me and go down those stairs. I'm following behind. I don't trust you. I don't trust

Ben Banks 8:37

you either. We'll talk about what, what's going on between you two in a minute? But he said there was a murder, so I'm gonna start on that. Oh, good. You have an understanding. Slowly backs out of the room, making sure that, make sure that this guy's not gonna, like, shank him or something. Yeah, actually, let's make that our first draw of

Sarah Moore 9:04

the evening to find out if he gets shanked.

Ansel Burch 9:08

Keep an eye on Lancelot. Feels like a high stakes one. This will just be a standard skill draw, so just one, one to one.

Ben Banks 9:18

Okay.

Ansel Burch 9:22

I have a nine of diamonds,

Ben Banks 9:25

and I've got a king of spades, and I'm looking to see.

Ansel Burch 9:28

All right, anything that one goes into your discard king of spades, is that a marked card for

Ben Banks 9:34

you? No, it's not okay, still, very good card.

Ansel Burch 9:39

All right, so I think you are very successful at keeping an eye on Lancelot and to the point where you can also definitely not get distracted away from spotting the lady as she tries to slink away from your vision. And I think there is i. There's like a second door in that room to her, like private chambers, that as soon as she thinks she's out of your view, she scootaloos into this other room, and it sounds like someone is helping her change her clothes. You hear like laces going as Lancelot follows you down the stairs as this is happening in the tower, I think the camera follows past Mason down the stairs, and we follow around the winding stone steps down this tower and out into the wider castle. There's a broad courtyard that this empties out into and across the courtyard, you can see the sort of central keep that is the sort of actual housing of this castle. These towers on the outside are nice, but it's not like it's not warm, it's not close to the kitchen, it's not where people live live. So I think it is out in the yard that we first spot the arrival of a new adventurer, Sabina, tell us how patience like. What does it look like when you arrive in a new place and time

Sabine Bickford 11:12

there's a portal and just a kind of burst of red flame comes out of it, followed immediately by a young woman who kind of trips. She is patience, good fellow, Salem witch. She has kind of a a frock like pilgrim looking very black and white, a couple buckles, you know, very standard pilgrim fare, plus a little pointy hat, classic, classic. And she kind of gets up and dust herself off. A little bit of smoke rising from her red hair. She looks at the castle, and she's like, Oh no, no, no, and she tries to turn, turn back into the portal, which has disappeared.

Ansel Burch 12:07

I think as you are turning and exclaiming around you, you can hear the guards that have been alerted to your presence by the scent of sulfur and the flash of flame as they look around it, I think all there's like a dozen guards all in like, chain mail and tabard sort of situation. Throw the hat down, and they all come into the yard, and they're, like, looking for what the disturbance is. And none of them are assuming it's you. They're all just sort of ignoring you for the moment. And then after, after they've looked around, the person who looks like he's in charge, he's got the bigger pole arm, he turns to you and he says, I hesitate to ask, milady, have you seen what happened? Just here?

Speaker 2 12:57

No nothing happened. What are you talking about?

Ansel Burch 13:00

Scented you not the the brimstone on the on the wind and the flash of of if flight.

Sabine Bickford 13:09

What are you implying, sir?

Ansel Burch 13:13

I am implying that there was some devilry, some explosion, some alchemy, perhaps.

Speaker 2 13:23

And presumably, we don't like alchemy here,

Ansel Burch 13:31

not as close as this is to the pile of hay just there, such things are meant to be kept in their proper places.

Sarah Moore 13:39

Okay? So alchemy is okay, just not when it is near hay. Of

Ansel Burch 13:48

course, my lord Merlin has taught us a great deal about the benefits and dangers of alchemy. Okay? And I think he gestures over towards a hand painted like lab safety style sign about, like alchemy near flammable objects.

Speaker 2 14:12

I'm picturing like, you know that Carol didn't wear her safety goggles?

Ansel Burch 14:17

Yep, exactly that. Yeah,

Speaker 2 14:19

yeah. I think patience is still kind of trying to get the general idea of this place. So very sneakily, she's like, and, you know, I've heard that alchemy and witchcraft are, you know, sort of similar in nature,

Ansel Burch 14:44

have you then? Well, then yes, of course, of course. And all the guards like, yeah, yeah, yeah, milady, if, if it is not too impudent of me to ask with a halo. Thou, I, we know your face not and your clothings are so unique to ours, very monochrome,

Speaker 2 15:14

you know I, I'm fleeing from a neighboring kingdom.

Ansel Burch 15:24

Well, then you have found the right place to be here in Camelot. We we harbor all those who are lost and wayward. We watch over all those who are in need of care.

Speaker 2 15:36

That's great to hear, actually. Yeah, cool. Um, since we've established that anything, anything gone wrong, recently around here

Ansel Burch 15:47

wrong, I should say so, there has been a terrible murder right under our noses.

Sabine Bickford 15:57

What kind of murder

Ansel Burch 15:58

most foul someone has stabbed sir Bors in the back of the head.

Sabine Bickford 16:09

Oh, that does sound serious.

Ansel Burch 16:11

Most unchivalrous to stab a man who is not facing thee, a man who is not armored, a man who is if rumors are true, be true. It's quite nude, interesting. Thou didst not hear it from me,

Sabine Bickford 16:30

of course, of course, not. What was your name? Again? Me.

Ansel Burch 16:33

Oh, I am, I am, but will the humble

Sabine Bickford 16:36

guard will? My name is patience. It's very nice to meet you.

Ansel Burch 16:40

Patience? Ah, wonderful, wonderful. Tell me patience. How did, how didst thou guess that there was a horrible thing that just happened? What thou sent

Sabine Bickford 16:52

you might say that? Ah,

Ansel Burch 16:55

are you from the Mercian delegation? Yes. Ah, excellent, wondrous, well, wondrous, well, you must be the first of the group to arrive. We have not seen thy the masters or mistresses about yet after thou the the advanced the group

Sabine Bickford 17:17

person, they sent me ahead to take lots of notes. So if you could show me you know the scene of the of the most foul murder.

Ansel Burch 17:26

Of course, Mistress Gods return to your posts and will turns and walks off towards the the like the Keep checking back a couple times to make sure that you're still following him. And that leaves us with the arrival of Alana Rhodes, Alana does nothing small. No. How do we think Alana arrives at this castle? The portal

Sarah Moore 17:51

opens and Alana and her crew come through. Alana is riding on a horse, of course, full horse. Yeah, she Yes, obviously. She is dressed in the fashion of like a female Knight, oh, and, and she just rides straight up to the front door. I'm just sort of like, like poses, and the camera pans, and there's this like glimmer of like an like a Nimbus of light that that comes around her head and she looks around for the gate. Keep essentially just like just kind of scans.

Ansel Burch 18:33

You don't have to scan far. There is somebody standing above the gate right there, just sort of staring at you, mouth agape, wonderful. Clearly, he's never seen anything as magnificent as this, yes, but also, he has no context for the camera crew that you've brought with you. Yes. Well,

Sarah Moore 18:51

pay attention to those. Those are

Speaker 3 18:56

you there? Boy, oh yes, yes, yes,

Sarah Moore 19:02

I am waiting for you to open the gate,

Ansel Burch 19:05

milady, I, of course, would love to open the gate for you. Wonderful. Chop. Chop. May I have your name so I can properly introduce you to the court.

Sarah Moore 19:17

Of course, you should be expecting me and Lady and Lana of Rhodes.

Ansel Burch 19:22

Ah, of course, of course. From from the Murphy and delegation, I assume,

Sarah Moore 19:27

are you expecting someone else?

Ansel Burch 19:30

We expect many people every day, but, um, certainly no, no one else who's taken orders

Sarah Moore 19:39

and get the gate still not open. Oh,

Ansel Burch 19:41

of course, of course. And it's like, scuttles off through, like one of those little side tiny doors, like squeezes through. There's, you hear some pitter pattering inside the stone. And then a few minutes later,

Sarah Moore 19:57

I can't help but see Monty Python. I know what. Not it, but like,

Ansel Burch 20:01

it's so hard, it's not, not that great. You hear a winch going on in through the through the stone, like very echoey. But slowly the Barbican, like pulls up and allows you passage in as

Sarah Moore 20:16

it is, as it is, slowly doing that makeup does the final look, last looks. And then we and then I frame myself. The camera crew scurries underneath so that they can get the get the shot from the other side. You get the shot as it's as it's pulling up. And I'm very heroic. And then I write in and dismount like and stand back up into frame like, nice and, and then the horse is just gone.

Ansel Burch 20:52

The horse of plot convenience. We

Sarah Moore 20:54

don't need him anymore. So he is he is finished. And like the horse, Good job, buddy. He gets a lot of carrots. He's doing great. The armor is, I think, slightly different in this shot. It is obviously for moving. It is a moving armor so that things can move around. And she, she takes a look around, sort of also scanning for other time travelers. This is a thing that she's learned to do. So is there anybody down here?

Ansel Burch 21:25

I think directly ahead of you, about probably the 300 yards or 100 yards down, you can see a pilgrim in a witch hat, which, I mean, you don't know that one, but yeah, doesn't look like doesn't look like everybody else around here. Good. She is sort of power walking behind a guard.

Sarah Moore 21:48

I fall in step. Okay, yeah,

Ansel Burch 21:54

catch up. Make the diff the distance, yeah.

Ansel Burch 21:59

Well, then I'll get out of your way. Good Woman,

Sabine Bickford 22:05

yes, hello. Good Woman,

Sarah Moore 22:08

yes, I see that you are perhaps out of time.

Sabine Bickford 22:18

You could, you could say that are are you also feeling somewhat out of time?

Speaker 1 22:24

I am indeed. Now we usually have a couple other, a couple other folks who have problems with their clocks. You haven't seen a cat? Have you speaking cat?

Sabine Bickford 22:44

Did you say speaking cat?

Speaker 1 22:47

Yeah. I mean, he has a very long title, but, like, he's just a talking cat. That is what he is. So that's, you know, the easiest way to describe him. So like, a familiar situation, do not call him that. Oh, he will be mad. Yeah, yeah, no. He's like, his he's like, his own thing. And then we also travel with an alien. She's got very strange fingers. It's the easiest way to find her. And then also a detective who's in all black and white, just like, not like you are in black and white, like, like, gray scale, you know what I mean? Like, everything's black and

Speaker 1 23:29

white. I don't think that I do, and I haven't seen any of those people, and I'm slightly worried that maybe I thought that you were a co worker, and you are, in fact, just someone insane. Oh, is this your first jump? I've had a couple partners, but they were all just people.

Speaker 4 23:55

Yeah, and you didn't, you didn't think to like wardrobe up before you came like you are clearly not from here, like

Ansel Burch 24:06

this. I think this is the perfect moment for Mason to burst in, in all of his 70s glory,

Ben Banks 24:13

right before we we come through the door, though I want to kind of like rib Lancelot. I'm like, hey, just just, you know, to get my bearings here. And this whole detective murder thing, the the fellow that you said that was was murdered, suppose, yes, I forgot his name. Thank you for reminding me. I'll write that down. Did he know about you? And upstairs? Was that? Was he privy to that

Ansel Burch 24:42

knowledge? Of course not, and neither do you, if you understand me, okay, okay,

Speaker 1 24:47

I was just, I was maybe I was just, you know, maybe he knew, and you didn't want him to know, so you made sure he didn't know anymore, you know, just just doing my detective thing, making sure, just covering my bases. I. What a,

Ansel Burch 25:02

what a bold accusation to start off with, sir. We barely know each other,

Ben Banks 25:06

all the more reason. If I knew you and I made that accusation, that would be wild. So I don't know you. So I thought I would throw that out there, but I went

Ansel Burch 25:15

through my not a knight. Were you of equal standing? I would have a I would have your head.

Ben Banks 25:20

Oh, like Sir Boris, hmm. Doesn't seem so weird now that I made that assumption, is it?

Ansel Burch 25:28

Let me be very clear, sir, I am a Lancelot du Lac. I would never stab anyone in the back of the head, not even you. Wow.

Ben Banks 25:39

Okay, we're getting somewhere that you weren't forthcoming with that information before. So back of the head,

Speaker 1 25:45

gotcha. Oh, well, yes, I

Ansel Burch 25:50

one hesitates to bring up the grisly details, but yes, if you must know, sir Bors, was the door, mind the door. You're going to walk right into it.

Ben Banks 25:59

Oh, okay, I got distracted, all right. I like reach towards. I like reach to open door, and then I kick through

Ansel Burch 26:12

it. So it's kicking the door in that that interrupts this conversation about your wardrobe, and congrats, the three of you are in a room together. Go for it.

Speaker 5 26:20

Mason, you, Hey, aren't black and white anymore,

Ben Banks 26:24

yeah, and I like, hold out my bracelet. I think that's what you're talking about. Yeah, I decided to spice up the outfit a little bit, add a little bit of splash of

Sarah Moore 26:34

colors. Rad. Um, but, well, he used to be black and white. This is a big deal. But also,

Ben Banks 26:44

while I'm still wearing, like a black and white suit.

Speaker 4 26:48

But again, you also did not like to the wardrobe thing before you got here. I just, you know what, I can fix this wardrobe

Ansel Burch 26:56

behind you, Lancelot sees Elena and my lady, and he's, he's kneels in a big way, and so he's sort of quiet and kneeling for the duration of whatever's happening here.

Sarah Moore 27:08

Wonderful. First you love that. Love what you're doing, wardrobe. And I call in my crew, and they kind of like walk through and and when they pass through the camera on the other side, the two of you are in period appropriate. Still, like your your style, like it's reminiscent of what you were wearing, but like, it's like, converted to,

Speaker 2 27:38

I think I'm perfect in a witch outfit now, oh, 100%

Ansel Burch 27:43

and a broom. Just more capes and shit. Now, yeah,

Sarah Moore 27:46

so many, so many layers of capes. Oh, maybe

Ansel Burch 27:50

almost like a Morgan le Fauci sort of thing. That's

Sabine Bickford 27:54

what I was like a staff. Oh, for sure.

Sarah Moore 27:58

And they make sure Masons is very colorful as it's going through. It's like, like 70s fabric, but in the style of, like a tunic,

Ansel Burch 28:12

just a red leather slash tunic. Yes, yeah, um.

Sarah Moore 28:18

And then I turn back to Lancelot, and what is your name, good sir,

Ansel Burch 28:24

Lancelot du Lac milady. I presume you are the the party from Mercia sent this wastrel ahead of you.

Sarah Moore 28:35

Oh, I wouldn't call her wastrel.

Ansel Burch 28:39

Oh, not she seems a lovely lady this, this jack and ape who goes into ladies bed chambers unannounced.

Speaker 2 28:48

Oh, you Oh. Were you announced in her bed chambers? Lance very

Sarah Moore 28:54

Lancelot. You slide dog. Were you visiting lady Gwen affair,

Ansel Burch 29:00

who told you that? How do you even

Speaker 2 29:04

you were? You were, if I've heard of this fornication before,

Ansel Burch 29:10

as you are, as a fellow Knight, I will trust that you will keep to the code and not expose a lady's virtue such in such a way

Speaker 1 29:18

I would never but I do need you to know that I am also romantic at heart, and I really am rooting for you two kids.

Ansel Burch 29:27

Ah, well, in that case, yes, it's lovely. Yes,

Sarah Moore 29:31

it's lovely. You should be careful, though, because, like, I read the ending. So what's going on here? Like you can get out of my murder?

Ben Banks 29:46

Yes, a murder

Speaker 1 29:49

supports Yes, suppose the elder now the elder, yeah,

Ben Banks 29:56

stabbed in the back of the head. Oh, mm. Hmm,

Ansel Burch 30:01

that seems bad. Yeah, and Lance, you didn't do it, right? Just, of course not. Yeah, we already crossed him off the list. Cool, cool. And Guinevere didn't do it. I didn't even ask about that. I couldn't imagine. Why is that? Is

Sarah Moore 30:16

it because you don't think women could be strong enough to stab someone in the back of the head is that, no,

Ansel Burch 30:21

she's just such a lovely woman. I couldn't imagine her doing such a thing. She's She barely, barely could hurt a fly.

Sarah Moore 30:28

Do you have super love goggles on my man? Women can be very dangerous.

Ansel Burch 30:35

I think he leans over to you, Mason. He's like, Do you have any idea what she's talking about?

Unknown Speaker 30:42

As far as women, or is

Ansel Burch 30:44

this a turn of phrase that you have in your in your kingdom,

Ben Banks 30:48

we're not from. I mean, we are. We are from the same kingdom. No, I just, we just got to, you know, eliminate everybody off the list, you know,

Unknown Speaker 30:57

of course, with the adulterers probably,

Speaker 1 31:02

well then I, if should I find any, I will let you know.

Unknown Speaker 31:07

Okay, we're on the lookout. We're on the lookout.

Speaker 6 31:10

On the same team here, man, like you're rooting for you. You don't need

Unknown Speaker 31:15

to yell. We We got

Sarah Moore 31:16

this.

Unknown Speaker 31:18

Well, good.

Sarah Moore 31:20

What is Arthur? Where's Arthur?

Ansel Burch 31:23

Well, of course, of course, he's in the court, in the hall, and you must be announced. Where are the pages you I don't know. Milady, remain here before you are further dishonored by the lack of circumstance and and pomp that has been placed in your feet.

Speaker 4 31:41

Boy, My honor is suffering, and he, like, runs full

Ansel Burch 31:45

sprint.

Speaker 4 31:48

It's just like Clank, Clank, Clank, Clank, sprints away. This is a different Camelot than I was led to believe we were going to be at.

Ben Banks 31:59

So, Atlanta, you know this story, you know these people, and

Sarah Moore 32:03

sure, famous story. There's been, like, billions of stories told about him, a whole bunch of movies made. I saw him. Guinevere in love. Guinevere is married to Arthur. And then, like, there's also a witch, and then there's like, we're kind of not You witch, but she's like, bad, maybe Arthur's sister, and some of them, She's his sister, and some of them she's his lover. It's a some of them, she's both. It's a lot. And then there's also, like, just like, epic quests. There's a round table of nights, tragic love story, eventually, yada yada, yada, everybody dies.

Unknown Speaker 32:47

Were you talking about Morgan le Fauci? I

Unknown Speaker 32:49

was

Speaker 2 32:50

she is beyond a witch?

Sarah Moore 32:53

Well, yeah, it depends on which telling we're looking at. I don't know the telling that has a ser bores. I don't know that one. Do you know that one?

Sabine Bickford 33:06

I'm not familiar. But also, I didn't do a lot of reading in my turn. Yeah,

Sarah Moore 33:14

yeah. That makes a lot of sense.

Ben Banks 33:17

Yeah, I'm chasing bad guys, taking down the enemy, driving cars I don't have time to read or go to movies about,

Sarah Moore 33:25

yeah, no, I get that. Hey, before the pages get back. Do you guys want a snack? Little snack? Oh,

Ben Banks 33:32

is it that time already crafty also, is this our new our new teammate? What? Because I haven't seen the cat or the alien? Who are all these people,

Sarah Moore 33:40

I don't, yeah, these are just, this is the film crew. They follow me around. They help out the stuff. Did help us breathe when we ran out of oxygen one time that was pretty cool. Like, I got bonuses for that, yeah, just take, take little snacks. Just like, don't mess up your like, I think they come around and, like, tuck

Ansel Burch 33:59

in the little there's like, half sandwiches, yeah,

Speaker 1 34:03

like tuck in like a little, like paper towel so that you don't and as they're doing it, they're also, like, touching up our makeup and stuff, doing little last looks we have to drink out of straws. Don't mess up your lips.

Speaker 1 34:17

I think patience is secretly very pleased with the new witch outfit, but she's kind of like muttering and being like, took me two hours to press my good outfit.

Speaker 1 34:30

You will get it back and it'll be dry cleaned and so nice. It's gonna smell like lavender. You're gonna love it.

Sabine Bickford 34:36

Why would you clean something dry? How would that even work? Yeah?

Sarah Moore 34:41

Well, you know, like magic. Oh,

Unknown Speaker 34:46

you know, I never considered cleaning it with magic.

Speaker 1 34:50

Yeah? Well, you know, Carl's the best, so he's, he's gonna make sure everything is clean and it's back to you. It'll probably be in a nice little bag with the sash. Day, it's gonna be good. Also, your shoes will never have been more polished.

Speaker 2 35:03

True? Are these people all of our maid servants, or just yours? I

Sarah Moore 35:08

do share them with the team, and they're not really maid service. We are paying them in a nice This isn't like an indentured serviture kind of thing, although Carl is getting college credit, right? You're getting college credit? Yeah, Carl's not getting paid, but he is getting paid in like, another way, goods and services kind

Ansel Burch 35:27

of a I do get a stipend. Oh, good.

Sarah Moore 35:32

Yeah. Also, How's your mom doing? Is she good?

Ansel Burch 35:34

Yeah, well, I mean, I haven't seen her since,

Speaker 3 35:38

yeah, it's been a bit. We was that she after Mesopotamia? Was that? Uh, no,

Ansel Burch 35:47

we did. I didn't get to see her after Mesopotamia. I think the last time I saw her was, did, am I just forgetting everything, or did we did we also go to like Brazil. At one point

Speaker 7 36:00

we did go to Brazil. Brazil was wild. I think it was

Speaker 3 36:04

when I was still it had that fever from Brazil. Oh, buddy, yeah, that gave me a weekend. Yeah, that was nice. I got bit by a weird bug. Yeah, apparently they're extinct now. So nobody really knew what to do.

Speaker 3 36:20

So like, to be fair, it wasn't like Earth's Brazil, so yeah,

Ansel Burch 36:27

oh, well, I'm shouldn't be talking to you guys, though. Sorry.

Sarah Moore 36:32

Last looks all good. All clean. We're good. Thumbs up all around, great. I sort of adjust everyone just a little bit to frame up so that we are set when the door opens, we're,

Ansel Burch 36:46

I think Neville points back to Mason and you were saying rolling Oh,

Ben Banks 36:52

hello. I am Mason Rockwell, and I extend my hand to patience.

Unknown Speaker 37:00

Patience. Good fellow. Pleased to meet you.

Ben Banks 37:02

Okay, awesome, awesome. Welcome to the team. Now. We can get into this later, or something like that. But you've mentioned magic a lot. Is that? Is that a real thing for you?

Sabine Bickford 37:15

Oh yes, of course. Is it not for other people? It

Sarah Moore 37:19

has been so long since we've had a real magic user on the team. Whoo,

Ben Banks 37:25

yeah, I've seen some, seen some. The cat can do some magic, yeah. So there's that, there's,

Speaker 4 37:32

there's sort of only one magic that I can do right now. Okay, but what's that? No, I'm working. I have a lot of spell books, and I've been working really hard. So I think it's, it's fire, that's, it's just fire. Fires

Speaker 4 37:50

Excellent. So many uses for fun, cool, yeah,

Sabine Bickford 37:54

that's, you know, some people are not fans.

Sarah Moore 37:59

I caught, you know, got to take in your wardrobe, on on getting here, your outfit, um, where you're from. Did they try to use that fire against you? Or, oh, they tried.

Unknown Speaker 38:13

Yeah,

Sarah Moore 38:13

good. Took them out. Should take them out. Oh, yeah, lovely.

Unknown Speaker 38:19

Well, most of them, some of them,

Sarah Moore 38:22

one of them, you know what? That's great, but they didn't get me. So yeah, and now you're traveling through time so much better than they are. They have very small lives. You're doing great.

Ansel Burch 38:37

From across the courtyard, you hear a sudden fanfare and an entire honor guards like troops out of the central keep, probably a good three dozen armed guards, followed by what can only be King Arthur himself. He appears to be like in his 70s, if you had to guess, and and, you know, he walks pretty slow, stately, you might say stately. And everyone is clearly trying to match tempo with Arthur, which means that the walk from the central keep to where you guys are standing takes a while, but eventually the guard and Arthur and his his retinue make it up to the three of you. And I think Arthur addresses Elena by virtue of you being in armor. Well, actually, well, okay, no, because Ben's in in leather, that's right, or Mason's in leather.

Sarah Moore 39:41

Ben might be as well

Ben Banks 39:43

to say it's on, on underneath this, this shirt. Yeah,

Ansel Burch 39:50

just ready. But I think Elena, since, since you are in armor, you have dressed yourself as a peer. So Arthur arrives in. Your presence, and stands up a little bit taller as he gets closer to you, and then he looks at the three of you, expectantly. Oh,

Speaker 3 40:11

I bow, Your Majesty, My Lady, please

Ansel Burch 40:15

rise. I am Arthur of Camelot. And whom may I have the honor of welcoming to our fine Castle this day,

Speaker 1 40:29

I'm Lady Alana of Rhodes. These are my companions, Lady patience, good fellow, and Sir Mason,

Ansel Burch 40:43

Ah, wonderful, wonderful. And you have been sent all this way for the benefit of our search for the malefactor responsible for the death of Sir Bors, I am told,

Speaker 1 41:02

lady, patience, as you can tell from her garb, is somewhat of a seer, a sorceress, if you will. And she alerted us that there was a terrible violence done upon sir Boris, we learned of it. We were hoping to get here before it had happened, actually, but seems we are a touch too late.

Ansel Burch 41:30

Mmm, that Yeah, that does seem to cover it. Terrible violence, you say yes, yes. Knife to the back of the head. See,

Sarah Moore 41:42

yes. Well, just as she foresaw, oh, I

Speaker 1 41:47

try to do a little pose with my staff, but it like hits a stone on the ground, and I kind of stumble a

Unknown Speaker 41:53

little bit.

Speaker 1 42:00

Yeah, and and Lance. He told me about the murder when we were up. I mean, we were in the court, just the two of us. There was no one else there, so it was just just me and Lance hanging out. And then he was strong about the murder.

Ansel Burch 42:12

You've met, Sir Lancelot, then That's wonderful news.

Speaker 3 42:18

Hey, yes, um, I really quickly. How old are you? And how old is he? And how old is Guinevere? Just, I'm just wondering. Those are

Ansel Burch 42:26

great questions. 75 summers, my dear lady, Guinevere is about 20 and five.

Unknown Speaker 42:37

Oh, cool.

Ansel Burch 42:43

I know not how many summers Lancelot has had enough, I suppose.

Speaker 1 42:49

Very tall. Good stock, yes. And the only one that thinks that,

Sarah Moore 42:56

elbow Mason, you? Nay, Your Majesty. Do you have any other knights around

Ansel Burch 43:06

here? Famously? I do. I keep a retinue of knights. If you will join us within the court, I will introduce you to my famous table round. I believe that master Merlin has some delights prepared for you. So do a favor and act very surprised.

Ben Banks 43:32

Was Sir boar is one of your, one of your nights in you,

Unknown Speaker 43:35

of course, of course. Okay, okay,

Ansel Burch 43:37

yes, he's a he was one of my best sir Bors joined me when he was but a young man, and I was a younger man as well. And we've been through many adventures the two of us.

Sarah Moore 43:52

How old was Sir Bors?

Ansel Burch 43:56

Some 50 summers. I should think what, what were his you have a great many questions about people's relative ages.

Sarah Moore 44:05

Yes, well, it's all part of our investigation helps,

Unknown Speaker 44:09

right? I see

Ansel Burch 44:11

we've had no luck finding anything. So perhaps a different approach is what's called for,

Speaker 2 44:17

what were sir Boris's, uh, nightly duties, nightly like kn

Unknown Speaker 44:23

Oh, I see, oh yes,

Speaker 2 44:26

taking out nightly duties.

Ansel Burch 44:34

Zabors was the was my seneshal. He kept the door and protected me from all those who may come to do me harm. He He once went on a great quest for me, brought back a golden lion's mane.

Sarah Moore 44:53

Did he get stabbed while he was guarding your door?

Ansel Burch 44:58

Oh, indeed, indeed I. Hmm,

Sarah Moore 45:01

so have you like beefed up your protection at all? You think maybe they were coming for you?

Ansel Burch 45:08

Of course. Do you think I always have 36 guards on either side of me? I do think that. Ah, well, then you are correct. But yes, they're more awake now we've cut down on the wine rations.

Sarah Moore 45:23

Not for you, though, right? Of course, not

Ansel Burch 45:28

something Sony kept his knees going. Do you

Ben Banks 45:32

have any threats towards you that some who could have wanted to kill you ended up killing Boris instead enemies? Of course,

Ansel Burch 45:42

there's the Fisher King who who I've recently gotten to a war with. There's the Green Knight, who sends the missives every once in a while, wishing that I would come after his girdle, because he thinks it's so special. There's Roland, of course, never forgiven me for that business with the chalice.

Ben Banks 46:03

You've met a lot enemies, okay, all right.

Sarah Moore 46:05

Anyone else, any other creatures, or anything of that nature?

Ansel Burch 46:11

Oh, well, The Fisher King is sort of a creature, I suppose. And then, of course, there's the questing beast that Lancelot has been chasing down. He's constantly out of out of the castle, following the questing beast round. God, I rarely see the man, to be honest with you, it's why he why he didn't make it as a seneschal, yes. Okay,

Sarah Moore 46:36

great. Do you think we could see where he was

Unknown Speaker 46:39

stabbed?

Ansel Burch 46:41

Oh, it's right, right here points to the back of his head on Monster boys in the

Speaker 1 46:48

castle. Like, where, like, do you still have his body and and also the scene of where he was stabbed? Of

Ansel Burch 46:58

course, of course, we have the, of course we've got the body, the see the well we will walk past where he was stabbed. And perhaps you will, you will be view it perfect. He does a big sweeping turn, uh, two extra pages like come out of the line to help move the hem of his cape around, and he walks back into the door as he's going again, nice, long, slow procession. He's like tour guiding you as you go. Oh yes, over there is where Sir Galahad, the brave once fired a shot that went all the way across the kingdom into another kingdom, and killed a man who was betting his neighbor's wife. Very chivalrous.

Speaker 1 47:57

A lot of look at Lance, a

Unknown Speaker 48:01

lot of that going around, huh?

Ansel Burch 48:03

Chivalry? Yes, I should think so. Of course, milady must, must know the rules of chivalry. And he is then going to recite 12 rules of chivalry to you as you go, yeah, I love it. And I think that is where we will clock wipe to you got you've only traveled maybe another 100 yards, but it is clearly like the sun is in a different position. What are you guys up to during this long, long, boring walk where Arthur is clearly gone off into his own little world. Hmm, if anything,

Speaker 1 48:51

I'd love to do a once over on all of the retinue to see if there's anybody who's acting weird. Yeah, that's what I was gonna suggest as well.

Ansel Burch 49:01

Great. Do all three of you want to participate in that?

Speaker 3 49:07

Yeah, there's 36 of them. I might come back and talk to a page at 1.0 okay,

Ansel Burch 49:12

okay. Well, then then let's do one draw against Sarah and Ben, and then we will do a separate draw against Sabina. So I have a 10 of hearts.

Sarah Moore 49:26

Have a jack of hearts. Hell

Unknown Speaker 49:28

yeah, 10 of clothes,

Ansel Burch 49:30

10 of spades. Okay, ties. Go to the player at this table. So you both beat me. That's phenomenal. Love that. So as you look around, I think the pages look pretty innocent. You don't see anything sketchy going on with like the sort of rank and file folks, okay, but as you are trying to take all of this in, you finally have the OP. Opportunity to sort of look beyond this retinue to all of the other people who are in this courtyard, because there are like nooks and crannies all over this castle. And so there are like heads peeking out of windows. You know, a couple floors up there are people like looking at you from behind battlements. You're able to pick out all of these folks who are clearly just looking for the most interesting thing to happen in three weeks, aside from the murder. So, yeah, you get a chance to, like, take in the spectacle of all of this and the spectacle that you now are in the course of that, I think there are a couple faces that suspect, in a way that is especially suspicious to Mason and in a way that screams of bad acting to Elena, people who are putting extra effort into Trying to look very innocent. They're at a distance, so you don't get like, a super good look at at them, and you can't it. They're they're there and gone too fast for you to ask any of the other retinue who those folks are, but if you saw them again, you'd recognize them.

Ben Banks 51:18

And my 10 was marked. It was with fate.

Ansel Burch 51:21

Ooh, unfortunately. Fate does not apply in this situation. Okay, cool, because there are no other cards for you to rearrange. But yes, so you haven't you? You're able to spot a couple people who look suspicious, but you aren't able to see them long enough to identify them. But I think if you saw them again, you'd recognize them for sure.

Sarah Moore 51:49

I'd like to make a note of where I saw them. Good. Yes, what they're peeking out from behind, or whatever. I think

Ansel Burch 51:57

you see both of them in like the Northeast tower. This is more of a residential wing than the little individual turret that you caught Lancelot in, but, yeah, there's like a residential wing tower that you spot them in.

Ben Banks 52:15

Okay, I'm gonna lean over to one of the retinue guards, and I'm like, hey, you know, I've done some bodyguarding in my time as well. What's what's over in that wing over there, and pointing to the north northeast,

Ansel Burch 52:31

the lordly residences,

Ben Banks 52:33

okay, great, I swear,

Ansel Burch 52:37

His Majesty has a great many knights that that do live within the castle keep, and so therefore they have expanded the housing arrangements all the way across tis, tis the wonder of Camelot. You know that there are so many who are raid here, in in, in Castle itself. Accent, took a journey on that one. Yeah,

Sarah Moore 53:03

he's from everywhere. Where are you from? Sir,

Ansel Burch 53:07

tis the wonder of Camelot that there are so many people what live in this castle. This

Sarah Moore 53:11

is from, from all over. Yeah,

Ben Banks 53:15

okay, and travel as a kid, I did.

Sarah Moore 53:18

Dad's in the military.

Ben Banks 53:21

You guys must be very well trained, like the best of the best to be guarding the king.

Ansel Burch 53:28

Of course, course, my lord, it's kind of you to notice.

Ben Banks 53:32

Yeah. So how would they don't

Ansel Burch 53:36

just hand these out, you know? And he pulls on his tabard.

Ben Banks 53:40

Do they might. So how would an assassin get past, you know, such an armed guard and such well trained knights to, you know, slay one of your own?

Ansel Burch 53:53

Oh, well, if you don't mind me saying so, none of us was guarding the guard the sabots just stands there in the doorway. It's his whole job.

Ben Banks 54:05

You've always got to guard the Guardsman. Yeah,

Speaker 2 54:09

that was your oversight there, not guarding the guard. And watch him exactly.

Unknown Speaker 54:18

Yeah, second layer of protection there

Sarah Moore 54:20

should have had another god,

Ansel Burch 54:22

if in iron sight, we should have seen that come in. But no, but no one knew that anyone wanted to make sabores the younger into the only subors. How about patience? You wanted to talk to a page as well? I did. Yeah. Okay, fantastic. Let's do a card draw for you and see if we can find somebody particularly useful. Hell

Unknown Speaker 54:43

yeah. Let me put all these cards together.

Ansel Burch 54:46

That's an ace marking them. Uh

Speaker 2 54:49

oh. That seems bad for me, huh?

Unknown Speaker 54:52

Yeah, it could be okay. You might have a skill, though.

Speaker 2 54:56

I have a seven of hearts you choose.

Speaker 1 54:59

Shows the page that will not speak is mute, the

Ben Banks 55:03

one that has taken the vow of silence.

Ansel Burch 55:11

I think this page is really excited to talk to you, but only has, like, scullery made Goss. I like, can't get rid of her. Yeah, yeah. She's, like, super excited to talk about, like, how, you know, William from down the way is, you know, secretly, a horse, but Merlin transformed him. And, you know, like, they're good stories, but they're, they're definitely, like, not people who are involved in this situation, so and so bought a whole packet full of grain, and it's, would you believe it's gone off already? So they're making special bread out of it. Wink.

Speaker 3 55:53

Stop talking. Stop it. A little bit of smoke starts like

Ansel Burch 56:00

I've got a bit of beer heading around the back of the fence, if you don't, oh, I have

Unknown Speaker 56:04

to go. I just

Speaker 3 56:15

Yeah, no, I have to go. Nice to meet you. Gossiping is bad for the soul. Oh,

Ansel Burch 56:26

thank you, ma'am. I'll keep that in mind for future.

Unknown Speaker 56:31

Please. Please do

Ansel Burch 56:33

all right. Gave you all the best stuff. Mutters as they're leaving as you as you finally manage to eject the page, let's go with Susan. Why not? The three of you and Arthur finally come level with the door, and immediately inside the door is the broad Hall of Camelot. You can see the famous round table, smaller than you thought it would be, but definitely round, lots of chairs packed in there, clearly more chairs than space for people to actually like, reach the table, but they're all in the room. They're all in the room. As you come into the space, there is a just a bright flash of light. The entire room just fills with with this, like white, phosphorescent glow, and it blinds everybody for a second, everybody. There's like screaming, or not screaming, but like general noises of surprise and displeasure.

Sarah Moore 57:39

I think, I think my lighting guys yell striking

Ansel Burch 57:46

Yes. And as everyone blinks the light out of their eyes, there is a man in an enormous purple cloak with a big pointy hat and and like little macrame stars all over it. Standing in the middle of the Round Table, he looks at the three of you and makes a big sweeping gesture. And there are little like spots of smoke that pop up on the table, and as the smoke kind of curls away, there's another flash of light. And I think when you can finally see again, Merlin is standing directly behind the three of you, and he whispers into Mason's ear. Holy shit. Are you from the 70s?

Unknown Speaker 58:33

Yeah. How did you know

Ansel Burch 58:36

that that leather is fantastic, my man. Oh, thanks. I used to wear those when I went to the Ren Faire back in the anyway, to

Speaker 1 58:47

behold the magic of Merlin. And

Ansel Burch 58:54

I think that is where we will end our first episode. As you arrive in the court of Camelot and meet the great Merlin. Thank you all for that first episode. I hope that was a good a good first introduction for patience. Goodfellow, welcome to the show, Sabina, and let us begin with your social handles. Where can people find you on the internet?

Sabine Bickford 59:18

Oh, that's a good question. I should probably reinstate some of them, but you can find me on the ones you want to Yeah, no, let's do it. You can find me on blue sky at alfalfa Centauri.

Ansel Burch 59:33

It's so good. And and Sarah, where can they find you?

Speaker 4 59:40

I am pixies and pins all over the internet, and my website is pixies and pins.com and

Ben Banks 59:48

how about you? Ben. You can find me on Instagram and SoundCloud at DJ. Blend in. It's DJ, underscore, B, l, n, d n, excellent.

Ansel Burch 59:56

You can find me at the Indus. Decisionist on all of the better properties, as well as blue sky and Yowza, and probably a bunch of them that I don't use anymore, and Reddit. I'm trying to be on Reddit now, so come find me there. This has been an indecisionist production, and thank you all for listening, and we will be back in our next episode to track down the murderer of sabores and discover what Merlin is doing here. After all, it's just Bye, Ben. You.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai