Egypt 3120 BCE: Episode 1
Just as Much a Bastard
Meet the family and home of Pharoah Whisketerius Meowrekon Felinious Purrceval the Grand. In this episode we establish the palace and the relationships of this place including his brother Siamun and Queen Neferu as they are manipulated by the nefarious royal vizier, Panhesy.
The Game
This Game was played using the Mavericks system. An RPG utilizing a deck of cards to tell the story and put fate in the hands of the players. It’s a story-forward roleplaying experience that encourages the players and dealer to work together to create the story. Check out the System Reference Document on Itch.io
https://the-indecisionist.itch.io/mavericks
The Cast
Stella Cheeks is @stellacheeks on Instagram and Bluesky. Check out her other podcasts, Not Your Demographic, X-Treks, and Spooky Thirties.
Sara Moore is @pixiesandpins on all social media channels and at Pixies and Pins.com. You can also check out her Sarah’s Table livestreams on twitch @pixiesandpins.
Omar Burgos is @Taleweaver Check out his work on the Tale of D20s TTRPG channel. More information at https://ataleofd20s.com/
Ben Banks is @Dj_blindian on Instagram and Soundcloud
I’m Ansel Burch and you can find me @TheIndecisionist on all of the meta properties and on Bluesky.
———
Special thanks to Cameron Evesque Davis for the song you’re hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast. Find her work on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/cameronevesquedavis
This show is an Indecisionist Production. Go to Indecisionist.com to find more of my work including my monthly gaming event, TTRPG Pickup Con, and my other time travel podcast, Time 2 Party.
As you travel at one second per second, take some time out for these intrepid adventurers. They may be in trouble, but only for the time being.
Transcript
Ansel Burch 0:06
You welcome adventurers from across time and space. Five creators have been brought together from across the internet for one purpose and one purpose alone, to travel through time and have a good time doing it. When big changes happen to the timeline, the change attracts other time travelers like gravity, they won't be able to move past it until they fix whatever was messed up. So our heroes are stuck together, but only for the time being. You
today we shine a spotlight on Pharaoh whiskaterius, meow recon, fellinius Percival, the Grand otherwise known as whiskers, played by Omar Burgos.
I really, truly hope that you love this little story and insight into the background of one of our heroes. So what I have Omar, from your backstory, is that you have a queen who ruled over the Nile along with you, as well as a brother, a twin brother, who was set up to supplant you by an evil king maker, which may have been for the best since you were kind of a bastard your own self. Does that all still jive with how you've been thinking about whiskers? Oh, yeah, 100% Okay, fantastic. Then what I would like to do is an adventure where we get to meet your queen and your brother.
Omar Burgos 2:08
Did we give them names?
Ansel Burch 2:10
We didn't. I did.
Omar Burgos 2:15
I don't see any names in my notes,
Speaker 1 2:17
yes. So I did a little bit of research, and I found some names from the low dynasty, or Early Dynastic Period, I guess I should say that should work and hopefully not be any individual person that anyone will get mad about. Because, yeah, these are like side characters in the story of the pharaohs. As far as I can tell, are the original people. Slash their names that came up frequently, so they're like, common enough that I didn't feel like anyone would think. I was like, Oh, that person. We're not, right. We're not this is not a historical text. We are not trying to interface with a thing that actually happened. Whiskers is a cat.
Omar Burgos 3:04
Cats did not rule Egypt. Well, well, then we look at but cats were not, you know, personified in real history,
Ansel Burch 3:13
as far as we can tell. I mean, who's
Ben Banks 3:14
Yeah,
Speaker 1 3:17
so, so I have Queen neferu and the prince seaman available.
Omar Burgos 3:29
Let me write down these names.
Ben Banks 3:31
Yes, all right, so we have,
Speaker 1 3:36
are either of you drawn to either of those characters or anybody else who might have been in the picture at the time
Sarah Moore 3:45
you put me where you need me. Man,
Speaker 1 3:48
understood, Sarah, you'll be Queen neferu, N, E, F, E, R, U, okay, all right. So here's how we're going to play these NPCs. Your card is The queen of diamonds. Any other time, when you draw a diamond, you get to draw a second card and take the higher of the two. Okay, easy peasy. Meanwhile, Prince Simon Ben, Your card is The six of diamonds, and you will also, whenever you draw a diamond, rather than giving you the draw a second card. Simon is a little bit more mystical, so I'm gonna say whenever you draw a diamond, you can look at the top card of your deck and either put it back or discard it.
Omar Burgos 4:37
Okay. Now, do you put it back on top. Yeah,
Speaker 1 4:41
put it back on top. Yep. So it'll be there for you to pick up next. This is the kind of standard mechanic for high level NPCs. They don't usually get their card, but they do get, like, an activated power whenever they draw from their suit. So we're kind of working with that just to, just to keep things. Simple for you. So let's establish some facts about Simon and neferu. Simon, you are the brother of whiskers. Do you think you spend most of your time in cat form? Or are you more human? I think I'd be more human. Okay. Why do you think you are less of a bastard than your brother is
Sarah Moore 5:22
like by birth, or like by attitude? Yeah,
Ben Banks 5:25
I was about to say, like, in what context? Uh,
Unknown Speaker 5:28
by attitude.
Ben Banks 5:34
Because whiskers is very high in on himself, as we've seen in previous adventures. Oh, yeah, he's totally calm. I think maybe the fact that I spend more time as a human, I think that puts me above that he, like, lowers himself to a four legged creature. And even though these people worship them, I'm like, I look like them, I appeal to them more than this animal form that whiskers. Oh, okay, that's interesting.
Ansel Burch 6:03
So maybe you are still kind of an a hole. You're just a more relatable a hole, yeah.
Ben Banks 6:11
Okay.
Ansel Burch 6:15
Interesting, interesting. I like this choice, okay,
Sarah Moore 6:19
more relatable asshole, how we do things around here. And
Ansel Burch 6:23
then the last question I will ask you about Simon Ben at this point is, do you think that Simon wants to be king?
Ben Banks 6:36
Yeah, I think he would think that he deserves it, that it's his birthright. You said an idea you had was being set up by an evil king maker.
Ansel Burch 6:42
Yeah, there's a character, panhacy, who is the like vizier, and he is setting you up to take the throne from whiskers. Was
Sarah Moore 6:54
that with the Pete PON pancie or von pan
Ansel Burch 6:59
P, A, N, E, H, E, S, Y,
Ben Banks 7:09
so, yeah, maybe he is full of himself, but, you know, the Buse is in his ear really, like, Hey, you should take it. And I'm like, yeah, why shouldn't I? Of course, he makes a lot of this guy's making some good sense. This guy's making some good points.
Ansel Burch 7:28
Why aren't I kidding? Right? I enjoy that we're gonna have a dynamic where we have the evil brother and then the evil that's slightly differently. Evil brother,
Ben Banks 7:38
yep.
Who's the lesser to evil? That's what the story is. That's what we're gonna find out.
Omar Burgos 7:46
And I'm saying, I don't know. I think I built that. I originally made it so wanted like the brother to be but I was like, No, that character is not evil, but not a good person either. So they're both equally as probably bad for Egypt.
Sarah Moore 8:02
Yeah, really, just a single pile of dicks over here. So
Ansel Burch 8:09
as the Queen to whiskers and a person about the palace, how about neferu? Do you think you spend time primarily in cat form, or are you more humanoid as well.
Sarah Moore 8:23
I think that she is a healthy mix of both, and I think that she takes her cues from like, how she can get the most out of whoever she's talking to.
Ansel Burch 8:35
Ooh, this is shaping up to be an evil game, and I'm here for it, yeah? Hell yeah, cats
Sarah Moore 8:42
are evil, yeah? Because I think that she's smart enough to continue to be queen, right? Like she would have to be smart enough to be able to, like, manipulate enough to not get assassinated and get what she wants from people. So I think, I think she, she's probably pretty good at like, this person is going to respond to a cat, and this, these, these beings would respond to a human. So does that. I also think she's kind of an ass about it. And like, does will change in the middle if she wants you to be unsettled.
Speaker 1 9:22
You. Yes, what did it cost you to become the queen?
Sarah Moore 9:29
Ooh, I think, I think I had to kill the previous ruler, who I think was a family member. I wouldn't say she's good for Egypt either.
Omar Burgos 9:45
Probably this is why eventually humans take over, because the cats basically turn on themselves.
Sarah Moore 9:53
That's got to be it. No other reason. Yeah.
Speaker 1 9:58
Okay. Do you ever. Ever wish you could go
Sarah Moore 10:02
back to our like, our home planet? Is that what
Speaker 1 10:06
you're to to not being the queen who, like, where we were from?
Sarah Moore 10:09
Oh yeah. I bet it's exhausting. I bet she's on edge all the time, and super tired like I bet that it would be a lot nicer if she could not be queen, but it's got good perks, so sort of a half hearted wish, I think,
Ben Banks 10:39
very cool. So are the Egyptian gods, the Pantheon still in play here?
Speaker 1 10:44
I think we can absolutely work with them as given. I will be honest, my, my mastery of the Egyptian pantheon is pretty weak, so we can,
Sarah Moore 10:54
we kind of make it up. No, I was just, I was just
Ben Banks 10:59
gonna pick one and be like, like a youth pastor guy energy about that one. I love
Unknown Speaker 11:05
it. Ah, that sounds great. Yeah.
Speaker 1 11:10
Segment, yeah, that's my boy. Yeah. You know what Sekhmet always says In times like this. I was
Ben Banks 11:20
just gonna go with raw, just because that was the first one on my mind. Keep it easy. Yep, there it is.
Speaker 1 11:26
So Oh, thanks, raw. It's so warm today. Yeah, this is how I interpret youth pastor energy. Just got to work it into conversation every chance you can. Of
Sarah Moore 11:40
course, you wearing cargo shorts?
Ben Banks 11:44
Yeah,
my Egyptian skirt has little pockets on the side.
Ansel Burch 11:53
We'll begin our adventure tonight in the Nile Delta. It's that overhead helicopter sweep shot that we get from the beginning of every single documentary about Egypt that's absolutely required, that we get to overlook the Delta itself and the waters feeding into the Nile and around the edges of the Nile, You can see the plantations that have come up the various irrigation ditches and planting rows, the bustle of people as they go about their daily lives, raising crops, moving livestock about. It is the early dynasty, so we don't see quite as many of the enormous edifices and pyramids that will be erected in future generations that is the beginnings of that time, and we have gestures towards those great works, but they aren't. They aren't dominating the landscape. Yet it's not the first thing that anyone sees when they look to the horizon. Instead, you see a lot of the the low, flat, rectangular buildings with many stairs that lead up to the sort of main sections. This is a time of great inequality across the board. And nowhere is that more true than in a great house. And here is the greatest house in the dynasty, the home of Pharaoh whisker terrius Mia recon fellinius Percival, the grand in this great house, centuries of tradition have distilled down into the daily life of a family, a family that whatever else is going on, have the same ultimate problems as many of the families we know ourselves, sure there are more problems outside of this building that could be dealt with, but for today, the drama seems to be largely contained within these columns And between the hanging damask curtains that the front and back of the house, as the Nile wind blows through, we see the vision of Pharaoh whiskeytarius, male reckon fellinius Percival, the grand on his throne, Omar. Tell us what, what does whiskers look like in his full grandeur? Oh,
Omar Burgos 14:45
yes. So if you looked at my grandness, you would see that I have the most beautiful of a mane. It's not an actual mane, but it's card of gold. Gold. So a gold sharp triangular mane around my neck, my ears tucked in. You can see there were jewels embedded down each stripe as it touches to what looks to be golden armor shining like the sun. Because I am the sun, I bring down warmth to my people and take away the light if I see fit, then my paws are clad in just jewels. I walk on four very uncomfortable, but it looks gaudy and beautiful, so I deal with it. The Crystal beedies.
Speaker 1 15:50
Excellent. As you come down from your throne, you are met to the side by panhacy. Panhase is your vizier, your senior advisor. He's a tall man, even by human standards. He's He's big. He He has to bend to get into some places where, where most can simply walk upright and his stature is even more exaggerated by standing in your presence, which he attempts to make up for by spending a lot of time kneeling, as he is doing right now. Penn hazy is sort of scrunched up as much as he can be in a kneeling posture, trying to make himself as small as possible so as not to seem like a threat to his cat boss, panhase is doing a lot of obeisance. He's, he's bowing his head. He's is touching his forehead with a scented uh, cloth. And he, he calls to you. He says, My My dear Pharaoh, my master. I have news news from the river.
Omar Burgos 17:26
What news do you have? Vizier, as I walk up, clanging on the sound of the stone floors with my diamond bees and sitting by a almost like an upright position stretching out my cat neck, which he should recognize as I need him to scratch behind my ear in the spot.
Ansel Burch 17:49
Do tell me he he sets the scented cloth aside and scratches your ear, my dear Pharaoh, there is a barge approaching, a barge from the from the Far Lands, I am told that the grain harvest has been lacking this season, and given Your Highnesses proclivities In past, I have prepared the barge driver to receive you with some fury,
Omar Burgos 18:27
immediately hearing this as he's scratching the back my neck. I beat it off with my off of me.
Unknown Speaker 18:34
Ah, of course.
Omar Burgos 18:37
Why am I learning of this now?
Ansel Burch 18:42
It has only just come to my ears, Your Highness,
Omar Burgos 18:47
surely, I rule a kingdom of the most competent of scouts, warriors and viziers. Hey, look him up and down. I almost discussed and now, but you are telling me news of someone coming to my kingdom right this moment, useless.
Ansel Burch 19:10
These. These are your people, my my lord. These are, these are our, our crops that have failed, perhaps, though I hesitate to bring it up, perhaps the gods have not smiled on the southern fields this season, an offering, my lord, must be made. An offering.
Omar Burgos 19:36
What kind of offering do you propose this year? I zazir,
Ansel Burch 19:43
we do have a surplus of cattle from the eastern farmlands, perhaps we send some 10 head to the southern temple and make a offering to. 10
Omar Burgos 20:00
head 10. But
Speaker 1 20:05
you know how better to buy your your peer, gods, approval,
Omar Burgos 20:14
Highness, would I? Would I believe this is a good deal that he's proposing, though I sense any type of misguidance coming from him? That is
Speaker 1 20:25
a great question. Let's go ahead and draw for it. Draw for
Omar Burgos 20:33
Jafar. I have a nine of diamonds.
Speaker 1 20:42
Ooh. Jafar draw, drew the two of diamonds. So panhase, I think, has a tell that you have learned to spot whenever he's kind of fishing for ideas, he does this thing where he like, looks off to the side a lot. And I think you catch him absolutely just just given that tell as loud as possible. He has no idea what you should do about this situation. He probably saw some cows on his way in today, and that's all he's got going.
Omar Burgos 21:17
You are useless. I don't even know why you are even here. Have deposit. You know what? I will handle this myself, my queen, her, and I will discover the right way. Shall I?
Speaker 1 21:32
Shall I fetch your brother? He is learned it in such manners.
Omar Burgos 21:38
No, no, no. I don't have any needs room. I can handle this myself, that my queen and I can deal with this displeasure of the gods. I don't. Does my brother even know about this?
Speaker 1 21:53
I would not. I would never tell anyone before I told you, and
Omar Burgos 21:57
you will keep it that way,
Ansel Burch 22:01
of course, of course. I will fetch. I will fetch her highness, and he like, scuttles off as fast as he can. Let's cut to,
Sarah Moore 22:13
I don't trust this dude at all.
Ansel Burch 22:20
So let's cut to elsewhere in the palace when panhase does find whiskers, brother, Seaman, my lord, Seaman,
Ben Banks 22:38
yes, it's good to see you,
Ansel Burch 22:41
and it is good to be seen. I come to you with news, your news, your brother is hesitant to say, but there is a vexing problem in the southern kingdoms.
Ben Banks 23:02
What? Sort of problem? What
Ansel Burch 23:04
the crop, the the grain crop, has been weak, my lord, and I hesitate to say, but your brother does not, it seems, is unable to make a decision about what should be done to appease the gods and bring the crops back.
Ben Banks 23:34
What exactly is wrong with the crops?
Speaker 1 23:37
The harvest was lesser than in the past three seasons. Not since the drought have we seen such a weak yield.
Ben Banks 23:50
You speak of the drought negatively, even though we know it was a gift from ra himself. Oh,
Ansel Burch 23:55
I would, my lord, you, you speak the truth. I could not say that it was negative, that there was a drought, merely that many bellies went unfilled as a result, perhaps to Cull the Weak.
Ben Banks 24:14
Thank you. Thank you. I'm glad we were seeing eye to eye there. What were the options presented to my brother?
Ansel Burch 24:25
He would only hear one suggestion from me, and I, in his defense, it was weak option. I had only offered some surplus of cattle to appease the gods as an offering. But clearly this is not in keeping with the God's needs. So I come to you to look for better suggestions. Of course, tell him not that I came to you that this should be a surprise to you as much as anything.
Ben Banks 24:57
Yeah. Yeah. Surprise. Guys,
yeah, so the cattle. What would the what would the priest of Ra say? Have we consulted them?
Ansel Burch 25:11
I told only your brother and now have come to you. I did find her majesty and send her to his side for guidance, but I know your affinity for Master RA and thought perhaps you could assist your brother if you happened to be nearby.
Ben Banks 25:36
Okay, yeah,
let's see so you said the cattle, um, could there any trade that we could do with neighboring territories?
Ansel Burch 25:52
Of course, of course, other crops have yielded highly we could easily send barges to Greece or Macedonia to obtain some of their surplus. We we could trade in wines or oils.
Ben Banks 26:13
Okay, that's, that's where I'm leaning. Let's bring the queen on in on this and convince my foolish brother of what we need for the people,
Unknown Speaker 26:25
of course, of course,
Speaker 1 26:28
go ahead and give me a draw against
Sarah Moore 26:32
okay, you were gonna say Jafar.
Speaker 1 26:36
I almost did. This is a joker, so that's got no value. Congratulations. That's a great result. By drawing that card, I think you are able to identify that panhazy is definitely trying to push you into doing something, but it does seem like it's in your interest.
Ben Banks 27:00
Okay? My good physio, Will you accompany in these talks? And kind of we came up with this idea together of the trade, and, you know, strengthening our power among the people.
Ansel Burch 27:17
Oh, I, my lord, I would. I would hesitate to be named as a part of your brilliance, my lord, I can only advise on what is you and your your brother and and your sister in law. They are. You are the ones who have the capacity for the future.
Ben Banks 27:44
What if I came up with the idea, and you just kind of vouch for me when the idea is spoken, that I can do my lord, okay, okay, we're on the same page there.
Ansel Burch 27:55
Fantastic. Or better yet, Rod gave
Ben Banks 27:58
me the idea, and then I will speak it as Ra's mouthpiece, and then you can vouch for what I said
Speaker 1 28:06
this. Your connection to Ra is undeniable, my lord. Well,
Ben Banks 28:14
great. Let us fetch the Queen and then present this idea,
Speaker 1 28:18
phenomenal news. So let's cut to let's cut to neferu and whiskers, the scene that was kind of happening while penhazy got to talk with Simon. So what does neferu look like as she walks into the throne room?
Sarah Moore 28:41
I think she is in cat form, because whiskers is most often in cat form. And so I think that she is like a like a sphinx cat, like a hairless cat. Ooh, so she's very wrinkly, but I think she's, she's wearing, I think she has, like a very ornate collar, but not one that will clang around. I think it's not like a jutty out kind of thing. I think it's like a beaded sort of piece that comes around her neck. Oh, cool.
Speaker 1 29:21
Is it solid? Or do you think it's one of those, like, almost, like a doily sort of situation. I
Sarah Moore 29:26
feel like it's more doily ish, because I think it is lays flat to the skin. It'll lay flat so that then when she transforms, it can, like, transform with her and be like a, like a smaller collar on her. So it's like a little bit bigger on the cat, maybe more, almost Vesty, you know? But then when she said, when she changes, that can change with her. So it's like, that's a common piece between the two.
Ansel Burch 29:54
Sick as hell. Love that, yeah.
Sarah Moore 29:58
So she comes strutting in and. It. Where is whiskers when she comes in, I
Speaker 1 30:05
assume he's still padding around the throne room. She's gonna come in upon you somewhere in the throne room.
Omar Burgos 30:11
Okay, okay, so I'm staying in the throne room, and so I'm caught playing with a ball, just batting and back and forth in anger, almost like a stress ball you just see, and I'm just letting myself goes is definitely more Feline, because, although whiskers is a cat, he acts humanly in cap form, but he does like to say in his cap, so he kind of startles as soon as you walk in. Oh, I didn't know you were here. Put us away. I
Sarah Moore 30:45
heard from the vizier that you could use some advice.
Omar Burgos 30:52
Yes, you, you have a wisdom far beyond beyond mine. I must admit that is correct. And it seems that the crops have been dying and the people from the South are starving, but they want the vizios, as you think about 10 cattle heads. That's a lot.
Sarah Moore 31:20
That doesn't seem why. I mean, if we are down food, we should not be killing food. Seems foolish. Did we? It was exceptionally dry this season. Did no one supplement the water for the crops.
Omar Burgos 31:38
Then we prayed to the gods. And it seems that raw wish to bring drought. So even I Sure, no, I get it, um,
Sarah Moore 31:52
we've talked about this before, though, right? You know when raw is extra present, but we just need to supplement a little bit with some extra water brought in from the Nile. Like, that's,
Omar Burgos 32:06
I don't know about I'm a warrior. I fight, I conquer. I don't know much about irrigation.
Sarah Moore 32:22
Yeah, yeah, cool. Well, now, now everybody's hungry, and we need to figure out how we can get more food in. I mean, there's probably you're a warrior, you want to go do some raids. I know you've been itching to go slaps of people around, right? You do love doing that.
Omar Burgos 32:49
The Greeks have been moving in in our territory. I could perhaps have a raid get some coin for trade and
Sarah Moore 32:59
yes, yeah, or just take their food directly. That's also
Omar Burgos 33:06
Yes, yes, yeah. Could you
Sarah Moore 33:10
both, you know, leave enough of them alive, obviously, so that when, when they go back home, they know not to mess with you, because you're such a big, strong warrior, you're still looking at the ball. No,
Omar Burgos 33:25
sorry, no, you're right. You're right, right, right, yeah, all right, yes. It'll get my army to head out there and show them exactly how the Egyptians who rule in this land works. You are a genius. You have the wisdom of the goddess taught herself.
Sarah Moore 33:50
Hey, I thought the Vizier. You trust him.
Omar Burgos 33:59
No, as far as I could throw him in a Capricorn, right? Good.
Sarah Moore 34:07
We could replace him. No one's gonna miss a visitor, yeah? Like, we could,
Omar Burgos 34:18
you know, mean, we could, but he's the only one who knows of the way of the gods. He's that his magic is strong. We need him. Have you
Sarah Moore 34:26
seen him? Have you have you actually seen him do magic?
Omar Burgos 34:32
I mean, he, he did the whole thing with the light and how it just shifted and disappeared and then appeared again. I've never seen such hypnotic powers before, oh,
Sarah Moore 34:45
he was just okay. Hey, you know what? I'll take care of it. I'll figure it out. You, you go show the Greeks. Who's boss, right? Right? Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1 35:01
I think this is a great opportunity for Siemen to walk in. Oh, yeah,
Ben Banks 35:07
yeah. So Siemen is just gonna, like, burst the doors open to the room, and he's, I haven't described him yet, but he's very thin and with, yeah,
Ansel Burch 35:16
sorry I forgot that when we first saw him.
Ben Banks 35:20
He has like, a bunch of, like, jewelry and stuff, but his, like, chest and torso is bare and super sunburned, because he just, like, stays outside and just like, communes with bra by just staying outside. And so he comes into the room and he's like, brother, queen I am here. And of course, I brought with me the irreplaceable, the man I trust with my life, the physio he is going to be. He's like 10 feet behind you. He's He's here to facilitate these talks raw has blessed me with an idea, brother, I know we need to talk about this grain issue that has just been brought to me that took me by surprise. I was surprised that, oh,
Omar Burgos 36:03
really, you know about it. I
Sarah Moore 36:07
want to take this moment to shift into human form, which does mean that all I'm wearing is the collar.
Speaker 1 36:17
I mean, as is a fine tradition in the period, yep,
Omar Burgos 36:24
um, whiskers goes on top of the throne. And just, it's sitting up, just looking down, which is very high up. And make sure he looks down on those who are beneath the steps or Cusco like,
Sarah Moore 36:39
good thing, cats have good ears,
Omar Burgos 36:46
ironically far away. So what is this idea you have? My brother, I didn't know you would find out about such things. You are so well informed looking with sharp daggers at Penn hasy, who
Speaker 1 37:06
is trying even more to, like, ball himself up against his knee as he kneels.
Ben Banks 37:13
You know, with RA, all things are possible, so these information just comes to me. And you know, we don't need to know where the source was. I just, I know of it. I know my people. And I was thinking about, you know, trading, trading with some of the neighboring, you know, places we have wine, we have goods, we have finery, and, you know, do a little give and take.
Omar Burgos 37:38
So we're going to go in trade and give these people who are not even part of Egypt, our goods, or as the queen so wisely put, I can gather my army and take what I want, just like I did with this throne.
Ben Banks 38:01
It's Hmm. That is, that is, that is a point that you make there. So you would be going on a on a campaign. So who would, who would be watching these beautiful lands while you're gone? I humbly would volunteer, you know, to sit upon the throne while you are off conquering
Sarah Moore 38:25
I own still in the room. I am
Ben Banks 38:28
the Oh, hey, hello, hi.
Uh, yeah, yeah, I You could also sit on the throne.
Sarah Moore 38:37
That is literally my job. I could do that. Wow. And
Ben Banks 38:45
you would need trusted advisors. I would advise. The facier would advise as well. You know, we could, oh, I
Speaker 1 38:52
do wish you would leave me out of this, although I should say that the barge from the south is approaching within the next few minutes my assembled lords,
Omar Burgos 39:06
I will deal with this first and give it and give it, let them know that I'm going on a campaign, and ruling will be Queen nafaru. Listen, see him, and you love your you love the gods. Why don't you go and just pray and maybe a portent will come to you or something, just stay off my throne.
Sarah Moore 39:28
No one has a better relationship with RA than you do.
Speaker 2 39:36
Wouldn't you agree? I do agree. I do agree. Maybe
Sarah Moore 39:41
RA has some wisdom for us. Perhaps you should consult with him.
Ben Banks 39:48
Okay, okay, feels like you guys are just trying to get me out of the room here, but I do think that is would you rather
Sarah Moore 39:55
I go speak with RA?
Ben Banks 39:59
Mm. No, he does like me as his mouthpiece, so I will go speak to him.
Speaker 1 40:05
Do you want to try and do, like a ritual or something?
Ben Banks 40:12
Hmm, yeah, let's
Speaker 1 40:14
we are well outside the bounds of historicity. Here. We can, if you want to, if you want to improvise, yeah, if you want to improvise a ritual, this is the time,
Omar Burgos 40:24
yeah, because this Canon magic exists, it's real. Yeah.
Ben Banks 40:31
Okay, I'm going to open one of the windows, let the sun in, and then on my finger, I think I have a ring that kind of reflects the sun. So I'm gonna try to, like, hold it and try to, like divine, if it like lights on anything in the room, or anything of anything of note. Oh,
Ansel Burch 40:52
interesting. Making a laser
Sarah Moore 40:53
pointer,
Speaker 1 40:55
yeah, which, of course, all of you have to follow carefully. Yeah. This is very good. I like it. That's very cool. So let's go ahead and do a skill draw to see how that goes. Just a one to one, ooh, I've got an ace here.
Ben Banks 41:14
Oh, or spades. Okay,
Ansel Burch 41:21
so I don't think that means necessarily that the divination doesn't work so much as the divination gives you something that isn't immediately relevant to what you're trying to ask about. I think the divination so let's establish now that for something like this, you understand how your ritual works, and nobody else does. So you get to see the result of this, which is the you know, the light cast by your ring sort of scatters about the room, and as you go through these ritual movements, you can see the light as it passes across the various paintings and icons that are all over this space and on all of the key movements based upon where the sun is right now, and the way you're standing and the directionality of this ritual, everything you're seeing points towards conflict, combat, fighting,
Omar Burgos 42:26
war
Ansel Burch 42:30
and loss. What you do with that in this moment is up to you, but it is definitely not helping you with what should we do about the crops in the South?
Ben Banks 42:45
I think seeing that, I am like, in my mind, I'm like, okay, so if I see war and conflict and loss, then I turn to my brother. I'm like, brother, you should go. You should lead a mighty campaign. I have seen it in the omens. I have been shown that you have victory in your campaign. So go, go gather the armies, tear across the nations and get what we deserve for our people.
Omar Burgos 43:14
I knew that I was a deliverer of the divine judgment of the gods. You didn't have to tell me that with your rituals, I knew that it's
Ben Banks 43:24
always good to check. It's always good to check.
Omar Burgos 43:27
This disproves my point. Do you see nepharo? This will be a glorious day for Egypt and I return with the riches. Come let us go and deal with these, these people of ours, rhythm of any of their doubts, the god of divine did, after all,
Speaker 1 43:54
fantastic. And so let's cut there as the I think as you, as you say the phrase, the camera sort of pulls back from you, and we get sort of this wider view of the whole room. You are dwarfed by the size of your palace and the opulence and and grandeur, the gold, the jewels, the the beautiful colors, and so the wipe that we get to the stark sun bleached outdoors, the desert out front of your Temple is just that much more stark, but this beautiful, jeweled Nile water stands at the center of the frame, and we see the boat as it comes into view. On the front of the boat, there is a sort of big, imposing, sort. Of War chieftain, somebody who's dressed in their finery with their, you know, full combat kit on. And I think she is, is like stone facedly standing at the prow of her boat. These are those sort of big, rectangular barges. There is a sort of tent set up on the front here where she and her small retinue have been standing. But the rest of the barge is just stacks upon stacks upon stacks of wheat sheaves. So as this boat comes into frame and bumps up against the dock, she leaps out onto the plankings and looks around at the various people who've gathered to tie up the boat and we, we the audience, get to see, as she says, Ah, I thought I would be welcomed by the Pharaoh with a bounty such as this. It's sort of, should we do it again? What's What do we think? They'll be coming. They'll be coming. Everybody just look excited. Get this incense going. We'll be all right. We'll be all right. And she sort of like tries to look unbothered as as she waits for for you guys to come out of the temple. Do you how long do you think you let her wait before you come down the steps?
Omar Burgos 46:47
How long would you say, distance wise, it would take us to get to here, from the throne central throne room, I think,
Speaker 1 46:55
from the throne room to this dock, it's probably like a like, a third of a mile, maybe a quarter, it's not far, but it's far enough. You know, I don't know it's like a pain in the ass to go over there, but, like, not the worst thing,
Omar Burgos 47:15
like an annoying 15 minutes.
Ansel Burch 47:20
Yeah, probably Yeah,
Omar Burgos 47:24
just enough to annoy her enough. We weren't rushing. We were already late, but we weren't rushing here. We had stuff going on, like
Unknown Speaker 47:35
it's different.
Ansel Burch 47:38
Gotta do Pharaoh shit, yeah?
Omar Burgos 47:42
See around that time.
Speaker 1 47:45
Okay, so it's been, it's been a few minutes, but not like an egregious amount of time. As you approach the three of you, well, do you think you brought out the poly keen and like the whole retinue, or are you walking out with just your guards?
Omar Burgos 48:03
I feel like, Oh, um, I would if it would, even if it would extend the time I would be palicking. I'm being carried if, uh, it's definitely only cat size. So unless you're in cat form, you can't come
Speaker 1 48:20
on. Certainly takes two guards, but you still have four carrying it anyway, yes,
Omar Burgos 48:24
but if you do or wish to be in cap on, I would totally let you on as I would be on there.
Sarah Moore 48:31
Yeah, I would shrink down to be in cat form.
Ben Banks 48:36
I look in disgust as you guys transform into your lowly cat forms and just walk out into the sun on my own? Yeah,
Sarah Moore 48:45
listen, I would get a sunburn, and I'm not dealing with that. So I get underneath
Ben Banks 48:52
blessings upon
Ansel Burch 48:54
all this skin going on,
Omar Burgos 48:56
so much skin you share, dirty looks you like, discuss cats, and I'm like, Just Feline, just you're like, you're like, you you're supposed to be a cat, and you're in human form, just like, kind of like, disgust. I
Ansel Burch 49:08
like that. It goes both ways.
Sarah Moore 49:13
We got a top of the bottom, but the Pharaoh is obviously a switch. So I
Speaker 1 49:22
so yeah, as you come out in your poly keen with your with your retinue, warlord that we saw earlier in the cut scene, uh, sort of straightens up, and you can see her, sort of getting her retinue going. You know, she's only got like three or four guys, let's say four. She's got four, four guys with her that are, like, there to move wheat around. Mostly, they're not, you know, they're not fancy guards. They're not dressed for war. They're not, you know, soldiers. They're just like, you know, farm hands that have been given a cool job for the day. Yeah? So, yeah, she gets them sort of ready to go and hyped and in place. And there's, you know. Incense going, and as she turns around, it all sort of locks into place. You know, she's standing there in her in her armor, the wind is coming just right to blow the little skirt of her Tarsus just right. The incense blows, and we get this beautiful cinematic scene of her standing on the dock with the ship to her left and and the whole, the whole thing, sort of looks like it belongs just in time for the arrival of the Royal retinue. And she, she bows her head and says, My My Pharaoh, I am honored that you would come in person to receive us. I This is the bounty of your southern fields, my lord.
Omar Burgos 50:57
Ah, so you come to give tidings. Good. Yes,
Speaker 1 51:03
you may remember we I had the honor of fighting under you in the fields just some three seasons ago, under my father's command, he has since gone to the next world to join our ancestors and now i nemereth, take this the chair and lead the southern tribe in in this growing season, it has been a blessing to me to be given such responsibility under your leadership, my lord.
Omar Burgos 51:47
Well, your manners are excellent. I see you take from your father good all right, then let's count how much we have in there. And I, kind of, I hop off and would make my way into just, kind of just counting each and every single thing to see how much I'm very meticulous on gifts and things like that, and does everything seem in order.
Speaker 1 52:12
It's, I mean, it's, as you were warned, the harvest is smaller than last year's probably like 10% down. So it's not a huge hit. It is going to mean you have to change, you know, your sort of trade promises for the coming season, and your production of certain goods will be down as a result. But you know, ultimately, no one's going to starve to death. This isn't the beginning of a drought or a famine by any stretch.
Omar Burgos 52:48
So tell me, what's the word with the people? What did they say about the blessings that the gods have given us?
Speaker 1 53:02
You're directing this at nemerath, yeah. Oh, my, my dear Pharaoh, my my king. I The blessings of the gods come down as they always have we we live in the fields to the south and the cultivation of our crops, the keeping of our animals, the watching of The seasons and the swelling of the Nile are our everything we we do not, we do not frequently ponder upon the will of the gods. We merely appreciate the blessings that come down from from them.
Omar Burgos 54:08
I so wish to have you know that the gods have come and spoken to me,
Unknown Speaker 54:15
of course,
Omar Burgos 54:18
as you can see, I in as I counted your your harvest is small, but I have a way to make sure that we stay lavish and our bellies full. Don't you worry. Make sure you spread the word that King meow King meowkin, will indeed feed his people.
Speaker 1 54:43
My Lord, the crop is not so small as to be a danger to the kingdom, I should think. But no,
Omar Burgos 54:53
no, no, no, no, no, any bit less than perfection must be handled. It, there will be no doubt on my rule.
Speaker 1 55:02
We are going to draw for a conflict as she wants to stand up to you join us next time for the conclusion of this, spotlight on whiskers. Stella cheeks is at Stella cheeks on Instagram and blue sky. Sarah Moore is at pixies and pins on all of the social media channels. And at pixies and pins.com you can also check out her Sarah's table live streams on Twitch at pixies and pins. Omar Burgos is at tale Weaver. Check out his work on the tale of D 20s. TTRPG channel. More information at a tale of D twenties.com Ben banks is at DJ underscore blendian on Instagram and SoundCloud. I'm Ansel Burch, and you can find me at the indecisionist on all of the meta properties and on blue sky. Special. Thanks to Cameron of esk Davis for the song you're hearing now and at the beginning of the podcast, this has been an indecisionist production. Go to indecisionist.com to find more of our work, including my monthly gaming event, TTRPG pickup con, and my other time travel podcast, time to party as you travel at one second per second. Take some time out for these intrepid adventurers, they may be in trouble, but only for the time being. You
